Pearline

Before Pearline, there was Lilly.  She was Pearline’s sister and she used to wash my hair in the kitchen sink.  We took her to Pensacola, Florida the year David almost drowned. Some man on the beach saved him. You’d think with three adults to watch him he wouldn’t have almost drowned. Lilly was afraid to go over the bridge into Pensacola, so she hid herself on the floor board of the car.  Lilly had diabetes and couldn’t take care of us anymore, so her sister Pearline started working for my family.  I was five.  

Pearline knows our secrets.  When I left home, I also left Pearline.  She was collateral damage.  Not to say I never saw her again.  It’s just that we were not close the way most people are with their primary caregiver.

Pearline worked at the county hospital when she wasn’t with us.  She came to our house every weekday from 2 o’clock in the afternoon until 10 o’clock at night.  She was there when we got home from school, she did our laundry, made our dinner, did the dishes.  She also drove us around. Then she went home and got five hours of sleep before getting up for her job at the county hospital. She didn’t have any children of her own, but she took care of her nephew.  She used to be married. We were told that she had killed her husband.  If she did kill her husband, he needed killing.  Pearline continued to work for my family until about eight years ago, way beyond the time she could actually clean the house. She used to go upstairs, leave the vacuum running and take a nap on the floor.  Mom and Dad hired younger maids to come clean the house when Pearline wasn’t there, but they didn’t let her know that. Before my mom died, I asked her if Pearline had really killed her husband. She said, “that’s what they say.”   I think she made it up so that we would mind her.


Mrs. Beaumont, My Inspiration

I was a math whiz in high school.  Mrs. Beaumont was our high school math teacher and she is my inspiration.  I can still see her nicotine stained fingers busily writing algebraic equations across the blackboard, chalk in hand.  I wasn’t paying all that much attention to the formulas.  I have the Sloas math gene.  The solutions and the logic were as clear to me as a  hidden picture in a Highlights magazine.  It was almost like cheating.  But I was mesmerized.  Those arms. Those wobbly, saggy, undulating arms.  I can still see them.

We were active kids from the get go. We would go outside to play after breakfast, stop for lunch at whose ever house we happened to be near and come home at the sound of the dinner bell.  Pearline would ring this big ole cow bell and shout “Shahhhh  nahhhhh, Mahhh leeeee ahhhhh” (thats how she said Melisse). We climbed trees, made forts, played tag, jumped rope, rode bikes.  Then we started swimming on a competitive team and we did that five or six times a week.  I wasn’t all that good, but I was right there in the thick of it.

 
We discovered horses and dropped swimming like a hot potato. We lived at the barn seven days a week.  I rode a horse every day of my life until I was 16. We rode hunter jumpers and even went on the occasional fox hunt. We traveled all over the south going to shows. It was fun. 
 
All throughout our childhood we water skied at our beloved Pickwick Lake. It might have been the only activity that I was better at than David and Melisse.  I could get up on a slalom, jump the wakes like no bodies business and let go to do a whip lash stop practically landing on the dock.
 
I went through the aerobics phase, the jogging phase, jazzercize, snow skiing I even tried my hand at volleyball. Then one day someone invited me to the gym to lift weights.  I was in Austin at grad school. I was hooked.  I am not a power lifter, just a run of the mill gym rat. While my weight might fluctuate, my muscles have not.  Being strong, fit and toned is important to me.

As it happens, lifting weights uses lots of oxygen, oxygen that I don’t have.  So, my muscles are starting to turn into jello.  Mrs. Beaumont’s arms have always pushed me to obsessiveness when it comes to working out my triceps.  It is a fight against gravity and I have always won, that is until now.  I can not bear it.  I would almost rather die than have flabby arms. Dang you, Mrs. Beaumont.
Me at Swim Meet

Why I Don’t Trust the Man

Our health care system is messed up. It is a far cry from the personal touch of Marcus Welby,MD. How I long for those days. I understand why Michael Jackson would want to have a doctor on his payroll. I do too


As it is, I am just a cog in the wheel, a part on the assembly line. And what is really scary is that the very people who screwed up are the ones I have to turn to to fix me

12 years ago I had a radio frequency catheter ablation to fix an atrial tachycardia. Dr. Daedalus got too close to the sun and I eventually ended up without an av node.  That’s how I got my first pacemaker. I’m a 1 to 2 per center. The joy just keeps coming.  Dr. Daedalus did not fix my tachycardia, so now my pacemaker paces these rapid beats. Pacemakers that are meant to last 10 to 15 years, only last 5 years with me. 

As it turns out, the research is showing that right ventricular pacing, which I have, leads to heart failure about 7% of the time.  The lack of synchrony in the ventricles can cause the left ventricle to lose effectiveness. My life is in the very hands of the people who caused this and they are not returning my calls.  This is one messed up system.