One of the consequences of having congestive heart failure has been going up three dress sizes.  Or maybe it’s the stress eating.  Whatever.

Anyway, I have had to go through my closet with each size change and clean out what doesn’t fit.  A virtual field day for my tiny housekeeper who is usually the recipient of my hand me downs.

But I had a beautiful red dress that I bought for a wedding. I don’t think I ever wore it.  I wanted to find it a good home and I thought of Kristy from the gym. I always joke that she has my “after” body.  

I took it to the gym and left it hanging in the bathroom for her.  Michelle, another petite patron, saw it first and tried it on.  Cherrise, our trainer, took a picture of Michelle in my red dress and sent it to Kristy, telling her she better get her little behind to the gym to take possession.  Before she got there, a couple of other size fours got in on the action. They then started texting selfies to Cherrise of themselves in red dresses. Thus began the red dress wars at the Toning Zone.  

All of this happened without my knowledge.  When I got to the gym this morning (yes, I’m still dragging my sorry ass to the gym), Karen said, oh, you’re the one who started the red dress thing.  I didn’t realize I had started a thing.  All I did was bring a dress to the gym that was three sizes too small.   And then those skinny bitches started fighting over it. Maybe they need to eat something. 😉