Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.  I don’t know how to process what just happened.  I’m freaking out.  I mean totally, absolutely, positively freaking out.  I just got a phone call from the Methodist Transplant Center offering me a heart.  It’s a moot point, because I’m in California.  Hearts only live four hours outside the human body, so you have to be within 60 miles of your transplant hospital to qualify.  But I’m not ready, anyway.  I’m a status 4 out of 7, with 1’s being those most gravely ill.  I told the guy to call the next person on the list.  Give it to someone who needs it worse than I do.  Why is there a heart for a status 4 anyway?  He said there are more hearts available since the covid19 pandemic.  I doubt people who die from the virus can donate their organs?  Or can they?  I don’t know.   For me, things will have to get much worse before I’ll accept a heart.  I’m used to my life now.  I can breathe at rest which is my personal litmus test.  It’s crazy to think that someone is getting a new heart tonight. It just won’t be me.  Not this time.