I have a condition called Tako Tsubo. At least I think I do. One thing for sure is that nothing is for sure. For the past 12 years I have had a pacemaker. It all started at Aaron Brothers. I was looking for picture frames to make a gallery in my upstairs hallway. The next thing I knew, I was sitting on a display shelf, shaking off a near fainting episode. This was the first of hundreds of such events. I went from being a normal, healthy 44 year old, to being the kind of person who spends an inordinate amount of time at doctors’ offices and hospitals. I have had too many procedures to count, 3 pacemakers, one defibrillator. Still, my heart rebelled.
Fast forward to last month. I’ll skip the details for now, but my heart problems kicked into overdrive. I had reached a truce with my unruly heart, continuing to do the things that gave my life enjoyment and kept me sane. Hiking, bike riding, lifting weights, playing golf. During this twelve year period, my heart was defiant, but it usually did its job adequately enough. That all came to a screeching halt. Somehow, I had all the signs and symptoms of a person who had had a major heart attack, leaving me, a health obsessed 56 year old with HEART FAILURE. Only I didn’t have a heart attack.
The working theory is that I have a condition called Tako Tsubo. It is a weird disease with an even weirder name. My left ventricular suffered massive damage, not from a heart attack but from 1000 tiny cuts. (metaphorically that is). Tako Tsubo is caused by stress. As it turns out, stress can kill you.
So, what next? I am on heart “bed rest”. No stress, no exercise. Those two things are mutually exclusive for me. Oh yea, I forgot, there is also medicine. Yukky medicine that I have refused to take during the past 12 years because it leaves me too fatigued to do those things I enjoy. If I succeed in living stress free, not exercising and taking the meds, my left ventricle should repair itself.
For a dyed in the wool pessimist, this is a tough task. I am a half glass empty kind of gal. I hope for the best, but expect the worst. etc, etc. But, this disease requires optimism, hope, peace. I want to hike in the Lake District, play golf with my friends, ride bikes with my husband, walk the hills of Carmel. Heck, right now, I want to be able to walk down the stairs at church to take communion without dreading the walk back. I want to be able to put on my boots without having a V Tach. I want to be able to carry a laundry basket, take a shower, blow dry my hair without having to lie down and rest.
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| December 2, 2013 From the gym to the Emergency Room of Methodist Hospital |
Just Passing Through 