Night in the Condo

They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. As much as I would like for that not to be true, it is true.  You all now know that my mom checked herself into her bedroom for a year or so of me time.  Truth be told, as an adult, I get this. The total inability to face the day. One misquote that I hate above all misquotes is that God will not give you anything that you can not handle. What a load of BS.  That is not what the Bible says.  There are plenty of web sites that discuss this atrocity, I don’t need to.


Many people probably do coast through life with no single incident that drives them to the quiet room.  But life is hard. Sometimes it’s too hard.  While I have never checked out for a whole year, I have spent a night or two in my walk in closet.  We call it the condo.  I put in an air mattress, a lamp, sleeping bags and a book. We have a spare bedroom. It’s not about that. It’s about total darkness, total silence, four walls that I can reach out and touch. It’s about crawling back into the womb. 

Life is full of tragedy and disappointment and we all respond in our own ways.  Does life sometimes throw us stuff that is too much to bear.  I say, yes it does. Sometimes people rise up to the occasion and sometimes we step over them on our way into the Galleria.  I was watching the golf channel yesterday and this young boy had lost both of his legs in a boating accident when he was 16 years old.  He founded a charity to raise money to buy prosthesis for kids who could not afford them. How friggin noble.  I hate him.

7 thoughts on “Night in the Condo

  1. Love, love, love your blog.

    Piling on here…

    You never hear anyone use “God will not give you anything that you can not handle” when something great happens, when your are overwhelmed by an avalanche of good fortune.

    Somehow the (unavoidable) implication for me has always been that the good and almighty Creator of the universe also happens to be the indiscriminate purveyor of all things tragic and unfair. It's short sighted and simplistic.

    It's ignorant at best.

    It's a malignant lie at worst.

    God hates this as much as we do. A broken world with broken pieces was not part of His plan.

    And. We love you.

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  2. Shana! I am so glad Rick told us about your blog!! I love it-you need to write a book!! The best thing is that I can hear your voice when I am reading it-it makes me smile. Look forward to following you my friend-keep em coming. I am praying for you! Love, Carrie Atmar

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  3. Shana! Wow…..I just didn't know about your recent life-dealings. Interesting that I get the note from Rick just now because today marks what would have been our 14th wedding anniversary…..

    I want you to know that I DO know what it's like to sleep day after day after day…and arguably was checked out for several years after M died….years. Totally agree w “…what I can't handle.”

    Thank you for being REAL with your feelings….and, God CAN handle it–whatever it is you say or write about what love and hate you have for Him. I am praying for you, Shana, and all helping you.

    Love, Tim Thompson

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  4. “One misquote that I hate above all misquotes is that God will not give you anything that you can not handle. What a load of BS.”

    That is the best thing I've read all day. And totally what I needed to see today.

    Here's to dark holes. They need better PR. Because often, they are awesome.

    And so are you. (That was completely cheesy, but true).

    And now I'm rhyming.

    I need a dark closet, stat.

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