May wasn’t merry. Not by a long shot. I had two scheduled surgeries and one unscheduled trip to the ER that landed me in intensive care. And things had been going so well…

First of all, I had my pacemaker replaced. No big deal. It’s my fifth one and for the very first time I was able to go home the same day. But several days later Rick found me unconscious on the kitchen floor. I had started having ventricular tachycardia (VT’s) again. They had been silent for the past 3 years. Once we got to the ER I started having them incessantly. 26 in one hour. No shocks, thank goodness. I was paced out of them. But it scared me and the medical staff. Each time it happened the alarms would go off and everyone would run to my room. They decided I could be better tended to in the CCU. That was an experience I hope to never repeat.

In addition to my heart problems, I also have some ill defined problems with my lungs. Well, ill defined until now.  I’ve had lesions in my lungs for quite a few years. I get an annual CT scan to check their progress. Well, this year of all years, the lesions were worse. A bronchoscopy a few years ago was inconclusive. One theory was that I may have sarcoidosis, an autoimmune type disease that can attack any organ. It would explain the scarring in both my heart and lungs. It is impossible to diagnose without a biopsy.

So again I headed to the hospital for a surgery called a VAT’s wedge resection. It was no small surgery. Three incisions through my ribs including a chest tube. Rick says I look like I’ve been  hit by shrapnel.  The diagnosis was confirmed, sarcoidosis. This disease has caused damage to my lungs and a lot of damage to my heart. While the damage cannot be undone, the progression can hopefully be stopped by taking high doses of steroids. I’m in week four of the prednisone, and thankfully I’ve had few side effects.

Now on to the really big news. TODAY I GOT ACCEPTED TO THE TRANSPLANT LIST. When I was in the CCU, my doctor said it was time to apply for the heart transplant list. He said that the process is so cumbersome and time consuming that if you wait until you need a new heart, it is too late. I think of it as a pre-approved mortgage when you’re not even sure you are in the market for a house.

He was right, the process was thorough. They checked out every single part of me. I even had an x-ray of my teeth. I met with a financial consultant, dietitian, social worker, psychiatrist, and the transplant surgeon. I had vials and vials of blood taken each time I went in (six days in all). I’ve been tested for HIV, syphilis, nicotine, alcohol, cannabis, barbiturates, methamphetamine, cocaine and opiates, among other random things. I had numerous cat scans of various body parts. I had my blood pressure taken on my big toe by the tiniest little blood pressure cuff you’ve ever seen. I peed into a jug for 24 hours, much harder than it sounds. This is in addition to all the heart tests I had while in the hospital. Of course, the transplant team is concerned about my lungs. If they are healthy enough to warrant a new heart. My pulmonologist submitted a letter that they are. The team is requiring further testing when I get back from California.

It’s surreal to me to be in this place. I’ve had 16 years to deal with the gradual decline of my heart function. It’s been so slow as to be almost imperceptible. You get used to your new normal and don’t realize that the new normal changes year to year. But I’ve also had three very serious rhythm events. Each time I’ve landed in the ER. These VT’s are the real danger, not the weakening of my heart muscle. Although that could also kill me. I don’t particularly want a new heart, at least not right now because I am very functional. My quality of life is good, not great, but good. But as I get weaker and it becomes harder and harder to breath, I will welcome the option of a new heart. It’s scary beyond all belief, but it is also a miracle. A chance to prolong and possibly improve my life. I am blessed.