Sometime this past Spring……..  Talk about a rude awakening.  After hitting my snooze-button a half dozen times, I willed myself out of bed.  The only problem was my legs weren’t ready to get up.  I was greeted by our concrete floors.  Really cool look for the new loft condo, but hard as hell on the knees and elbows.  Ouch.

This was my second fall of the week. Unfortunately, Rick witnessed one of them. So, I now have an appointment with a neurologist.  I’ve no idea if this is connected to sarcoidosis, poor circulation, congestive heart failure or some new, unrelated neuropathy.   I’m not ruling out the latter as both my father and brother had neuropathy.  I have inherited the worst health problems of each of my parents, it seems.

Besides these frustratingly weak legs, I feel that my overall health has been steady.  It’s hard to tell, because I get accustomed to each gradual decline.  But my heart numbers have been stable.  My lungs have actually improved a bit after two years on steroids.  But I am getting weaker by the minute.  Sometimes my legs are so wobbly that I can’t walk at all.  It usually passes in a matter of seconds.  If I can sit down or lean against something, I can wait it out.  Otherwise I plop down in a controlled fall. This has never happened in public. Thank goodness I don’t leave the house much.

The biggest challenge right now is staying in the fight.  All these health issues and uncertainty take an emotional toll.  As does accepting my limitations. But what choice do I have?  As I’ve said before, I choose to feel.  Feel the good.  Feel the bad.  Go off the radar when I need to, but come back eventually.  I’m back.

Update    There has been no definitive diagnosis about my legs.  I completed two months of cardiac rehab  to strengthen them.  I think it helped.